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love, real love gives freedom

I am still working through all the lessons I need to learn in this life.  There are so many things I am still learning in this life.  One of the things I have had to learn, and that still is somewhat painful is learning how to love unconditionally.  I am grateful for the lesson, and the opportunity to learn it.  Reallizing, no, acknowledging that the person I have loved so deeply not only does not love me.....they do not care about me at all, and that they only ever used me is a harsh, and very bitter reality.  I am glad they have found happiness, truthfully it is what I always wanted for them, and I deeply wish we could have at least have been friends, but you can not be friends with someone who does not want your friendship, and who will not give you theirs, or who does not respect you, or even care for you in any manner whatsoever....this is what still makes me sad....Perhaps it should not.  Perhaps I should merely be happy that they have found happiness and think no more upon it...and maybe someday I shall reach that point, and yet tears still find me even though I have many friends, and many people who love me.  Yes, I count my blessings in having so many beautiful, loving friends....and I am grateful every day for all the amazing people and good, and truly wonderful things that are in my life....and yet this one thing still haunts me, still makes me ache inside and I can not seem to pluck it out completely.....I truly wish I could, but for now I work at getting all my lessons right so that in the end I can move on....and move past the pain and into infinite love and joy.  Bright Blessings to you all, and pax my friends....may love and joy ever fill your hearts, and your lives.



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