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Things that lead to a happy life….

Hugs! Yes, people will hurt, use abuse, discard, overlook, take for granted, and betray you...but know this... what they do is a reflection of them and of who, and what THEY are....and the fact that you don't do those things to people shows what kind of person you are! Trust people only to be themselves and know that, in time their true nature will reveal itself. Never expect others to behave and/or react as you do because they are not you.

Love yourself, hold the person you are in high esteem treat that person well, respect them...and when others hurt you walk away with your head held high knowing it is THEIR loss, not yours. When you look around you in the world and see the things people do, know that they are only acting on who they are....you don't have to be like them, you don't have to follow them….You can choose to “Be in the world, but not of it.”

Do not spew venom, or poisonous words, do not gossip, let go of hatred, and do not feed anger because it poisons the soul and corrupts the mind it fills them with bitterness and drives out love. It taints the soul to it’s very core. Anger is normal, we all experience it, but it is how we use it, and channel it that makes a difference. To that end think before you speak, know what damage your words can do not only to others, but to yourself as well. Find ways to say things that do not cause harm, and yet can affect change by doing this you expand not only your mind, but your soul.

ALWAYS be true to who and what you are, you can not control the actions or thoughts of others the most you ever can do is control yourself, and your own reactions in situations. Decide you are not a victim, and believe it….you can see a situation as someone doing something to you, or see it as them simply doing things that will ultimately hurt themselves because they have issues and allow yourself to feel sorry for them instead, rather than feeling sorry for you. Remove yourself from the situation knowing with all your being that it is not about you...it really is about them, and their issues...You have places to be, things to do, and a life to live without them in it, forgive them, wish them well, and move on because you don’t want, or need emotional albatrosses hanging from your neck.

Forgiveness does not mean you have to keep taking someone back who treats you poorly...it means you forgive what they did, it does not require you to allow a repeat performance, and sometimes it requires walking away. Make yourself and what you need emotionally in your relationships with others a priority in your own life, if someone is not meeting your emotional needs or not treating you the way you expect to be treated you have two options, you can stay and sell yourself short, and be miserable….. or you can wish them well and move on…. Your relationship, your heart, your happiness, your choice.

Remember that sometimes loving someone simply is not enough. If you are not a priority in someone’s life, understand that if you make them one in yours you will, almost certainly, be hurt so think about this and decide if it is worth it. Learn lessons from bad situations, learn to recognize behavior patterns in yourself, and others and stop the cycles that lead to misery. Allow yourself to be human, forgive yourself for making mistakes as much and as often as you forgive others, make amends for any wrong doing so you can move on with a clear conscience…. Be honest, when you make a mistake, own up, don’t be afraid to apologize or set things to right publicly if need be... Own your mistakes, and your behavior! No one else is responsible for the choices you make, the words that you say, or the things that you do...don’t go around blaming others….own that shite, and then fix it!

Loving people and caring for them is a gamble, sometimes you will be rewarded richly, other times you will not. If it works out it is the most amazing thing in the world, if it does not, well... you will be grieving for a while….but remember you can not have love if you are not willing to risk the heartbreak of loss. You may fall, yes it happens, but oh my darlings when you finally fly you will know it was all worth it!

When you are hurting emotionally, or grieving remember if you can’t get through the day, get through the hour, if you can’t get through the hour get through the minute, if you can’t get through the minute just get through the next few seconds….eventually one tiny steep at a time, you will get through it. Grief is personal there is no time limit, and no one else can tell you how to grieve, or if what you feel is right or wrong...

Your happiness is your responsibility, don’t rely on others for it . Instead learn to find and do the things that make you smile, and laugh whether others are present or not.. Happiness is a lifetime journey, not a destination to be reached at the end. Be happy in your own company, and then you can be happy in the company of others without fail.
Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the willingness to overcome it...If you live every day courageously, passionately, and vibrantly you can not help but to rest easy in your bed at night. Stand for what you believe in, but do not disrespect the beliefs of others, understand their personal truth may be different from your own. People who run from their fears die a little death each time they do, they scar their own spirit every time they run away, every time they let their fears conquer them they become an indentured servant to those fears.

There will be some people who love you, some people who don’t like you, and some who simply don’t give a shit about you in this life. There will always be haters, don’t worry about it. You will not, and can not, win everyone over, nor should you even try to. Believe in yourself, know you have value! You may not be everybody’s cup of tea but you will damn sure be someone’s Dom Perignon! Be yourself, be good to others whether they are good to you or not, don’t compromise who you are because of their bad behaviors, or cruel words….and most importantly to those who love and like you, be grateful, be appreciative, show how much you treasure them in your lives do this, and do it often, because in an instant they can be gone, taken from you, and it will be to late to show them then how much you treasure them.

Be the best person you can be, and always push to do the best you can do….Don’t worry about what others think about you...they do not know your soul, your heart, your mind, as you do, they do not necessarily understand your journey, and they are under no obligation to do so. At the end of the day when you look into the eyes of the person in the mirror strive to be at peace with them eeach day, and at peace with the Divine, only those two opinions of you matter, no one else’s does at all. Don’t compare yourself to others, they are not you and you are not them and the scales will never be equal. Live well, be good, do good….this is what matters



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June 2019


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