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On being a ghost in cyber space.....

I am knid of glad my blog is not one that is followed widely.  Because it is not there is no need to censor my thoughts, and I can express them  in much the same way as they pop into my head.  I suppose somethimes this is a good thing, and sometimes it is not.  I have thought about making everything private, I mean what is the real point in standing (metaphorically speaking) in cyber space having chats about things going on in your life, baring your thoughts, feelings and ideas to a world full of people to whom you are, for all intents and purposes, absolutely invisible.  It is like being a shost in a foom full of people screaming "fire" and not a single soul responds because they do not hear you, lol., it is a rather futile action with all  same effectiveness of what it is I am doing.

 I think I still keep it public because someday, someone who is hurting, or is going through difficult times because of a similar situation can see that they are not alone. That the pain however real, and deeply it is felt can be overcome...that you can gp on beyond it  and keep going.   Then I think maybe they never will find it, my words will echo forever is a sea of cyber humanity, unheard unheeded...."And then what?" I ask myself ," what if no one ever hears, if no one is ever helped....Then what?"  the answer comes in those still moments "Then it won't matter will it darling, at least you tried."

And so I have....tried that is....Tried to make a difference, whether I did, or not is irrelevant  because the relevant thing is at leasst I tried.  I did not turn inwards on myself in my feelings of isolation, aand in my moments of heart ache.  I reached out to try in some small way to help others who may have needed it.  I did the best I could do, tried the best that I could...I left that trail of breadcrumbs to the door in that  room of midnight...and I lit a candle hoping others could find their way too.

 Really that is all you can do in life is the best that you can. to not wallow in self pity, to not delude yourself with feelings of self importance.  In the moments we face the darkness within ourselves, naked, and unarmed and say "Do your worst!", without asking for pity, or mercy, without ever knowing if we made a difference in the world, or not..... that is the moment we come to understand the true quality of our souls.  So if someone finds this, and it helps them then consider yourself charged to do the same.  to reach out to help others, even if you are hurting, even when times are dark, and uncertain.  Don't do it for glory, for recognition, for praise or applauds...do it  just in case it makes a difference, one that you may never see, or know about.

Try your best to leave this world a better place than you found it, a little kinder, a bit more loving.....all you can ever do is your best.  If you do that nothing else is needed...let that thought, that certain knowledge that you have done your best be your comfort....because I know that it is mine....Pax my darlings, may you find peace within your soul that keeps you whole during even the worst of the storms.



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June 2019


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