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Sometimes we have to accept that others choose not to be a part of our lives, not to be our friends, not to care a single bit about us no matter how much we care about them.  What hurts though is when someone you care about that really does not care about you uses you because they know that you care, taking advantage of the love and kindness you bear them.

 Truthfully no one can hurt you unless you allow them to emotionally, when we open our hearts to another it is a risk we take, sometimes the love, caring, and friendship is simply not reciprocated for any number of reasons.  Still it is the honorable person who does not take advantage of those who have opened their hearts to them when they themselves do not feel the same in return, and it is a selfish cad who willingly uses and takes advantage of one  who has done naught but show them love and kindness.  Recently I have had to accept that someone I have cared for, loved, and protected for years has done nothing but use me from the begining, and it makes my heart ache, but it is a truth I must embrace no matter how much I wish it otherwise.  I have shed so many tears over this, there are moments I am angry, there are moments I try to deny to myself that the truth is that this person could not care less because they do not, nor have they ever cared at all, but at the end of the torrent of unrelenting emotions because that is a part of the grieving process, and the death of a relationship, even if it is one sided is still a death. All of that being considered, I have to accept the responsibility for the hurt I am feeling as my own, I loved them, I opened my heart to them, and essentially handed them the very dagger that they drove  metaphorically speaking, through my heart.

 I suppose if part of my destiny in this life was to learn  to love unconditionally I have learned that at least, for when all is said and done I do not hate this person, I wish them well, I still care for and about them,I wish them happiness in spite of all they have done to me without any remorse on their part.   I suppose that it is a good thing that I have learned this, that I have grown in spite of the pain.  And though it does not always stop the tears, because rejection on such a deep level hurts no matter how we look at it , but  at the end though at least there have been lessons learned by me....Pax to all and may blessings of peace, and love find any and all who have felt such pain, my heart goes out to you, and I deeply wish you comfort and strength to get through the difficult times you may face ahead, and I further wish that you find in others the love and friendship you did not receive from ones who hurt you.



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