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Sunshine, buttercups, and 12 year old boys.

Hello again my dear friends, family, and fellow travellers through the path of life.  Thank you for joining me today as I ramble on  about the rollercoaster of adventures that is my life.  My only daughter is well past the age of adolescent angst thankfully, and is now moved into adulthood. With this being made clear, you now know that I have very little experience with 12 year old boys, let alone those with ADHD.  I do understand that puberty is a difficult time for both boys and girls.  Hormones race through their bloodstreams like a runaway bullet train, and their bodies begin to change, and often rebel before their very eyes. Their world veiws begin changing, and the worlds veiw of them begins changing as well.  So no, this is not an  easy time for them at all.  That being said it ain't easy being the parent, or authority figures that have to deal with them .  I salute you, and will keep you in my prayers.

I have told some of my friends through the years that I believed child behaviors at 2 years old were to help prepare parents for dealing with teenagers in general (not all teens are the same, but often the same behaviors seem to be not only prevelent, but also historically consistant throughout the ages, lol).  Here are some of the behaviors that should be recognized by parents, guardians, and caregivers everywhere.  Read them, review them, pat each other on the back and give out lots of hugs because this is a very bumpy road.   Here we go Indy,  on  the adventure ride of a lifetime.  Remember not to bring those suitcases full of guilt your teen child tries to throw at you with statements like "You don't  care.", or "You don't love me." ,or the ever famous "You like/love ------ (insert apropriate name here) more than me!"  Travel light and check the guilt bags in at the concierge of time's desk, knowing that those are not your bags, and you certainly do not have to carry them on your adventures.  For those who wonder how I can compare a 2 year old to a 12 or 13 year old let us take the time to review similarities between the two.

Most 2 year olds can be spotted in a crowd of other small children by shreiks of "MINE !!", screams of "No !", both exclamations  frequently followed by a temper tantrum performance that would make Sarah Bernhardt look like an amature actress., and give any modern actor a run for his (or her) money for an oscar nomination.  Now take a look at the 12  year old storming through the house, slamming doors, and screaming at you that "You don't understand!" or "You don't love/care about me!"  and realize that the our very culture in this country promotes  philosophy of entitlement where they believe their parents are depriving them if they do not get all the expensive techno toys they want (somewhere in there I hear the strains of the 2 year old screaming "MINE !!!")  How can we combat this type of behavior?  What can be done? 

 With the more reasonable of children you can take them to a homeless shelter and have them volunteer with you to serve meals to those who have nothing (local animal rescue volunteers are always sorely needed as well, another thing I would like to encourage looking into).  Compassion for those less fortunate is something which should be encouraged in all children (and adults), and a good dose of reality does wonders for the soul.  TV and other media sources show us things, but at a safe distance, it creates a buffer that makes the situation still seem to be safely held at a distance.  When it comes to poverty, suffering and real need it is important to remind ourselves that "There but for the grace of God/Goddess go I !" Yes, again I remind everyone to be grateful for what they have, even the little things. 

Another good practice is to institute saying a form of "Grace" everyday at  specified times, it does not have to be at meals, but that is a good time for gathering together.  At this "Grace" each person at the table, or in the room should list 3 thing s that they are grateful for everyday, and  listing different things should be encouraged strongly so pat answers do not nullify the affects of the act of thinking about what to be grateful for.  This practice is again good for both children and adults, being grateful allows us to be more gracious in our dealings with others, for often we are blessed far more than we know and it is always good to be more aware of it.  These things are not guarenteed to help, but they certainly will not hurt things in your, or their lives.

Now for the dealing with ADHD, my godson who is currently staying with us, has the attention span of a full grown gnat.  He is not a bad kid, just very easily sent off his "purpose of the moment".  Easily distracted, he often drops what he is doing and runs off to do something else, forgetting to police his messes and clean up after himself so much so that I have nicknamed him "Hurricane Gio", lol.  I am trying a new tactic with him and we shall see if it works.  I myself have severe ADD (and all the lovely things that go with it including dyslexia), and so I understand where he is coming from, but what works for me is trying to stay on task, and when I am finished doing anything I have developed the habit of looking around my enviorment and seeing what I need to clean up, then turning that clean up into my next task.  I try not to let myself be distracted, and that is not easy, but it is effective for me, and I am hoping it will work with him. 

So life may not be all sunshine and buttercups, but I am grateful for the good things in my life everyday, and I learn to laugh at the things which try to make me crazy.  May the God/Goddess bless you all with abundance and good fortune and  keep you safe from harm during life's storms.  Pax to you all my friends!



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