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Saints Vs Sinners

Have you ever noticed that those people who go around pretending to be holy, and oh so very righteous are usually so far from any real grace that it is rather like an onion trying to claim to be an apple.  Yes some onions may be on the sweeter side, but they are far from apple sweet, and furthermore they make you cry when you try to peel them.   These 'righteous', and saintly people claim to do good, or at least try to justify their actions so that they seem good.  Me, I am not fooled by this. 

I am a sinner, I admit this openly.  I am imperfect, unruly, and irreverant.  I do not attend church, nor do I put on any pretenses of being holy..  I do not pray, so much as I talk to God.  I tell Him/Her what is on my mind, what troubles me, what I am thinking, and feeling, I thank Him/Her for the good things, the little things, and the big, and I thank Him/Her for the things in my life that help me grow.  I ask for help, direction, and advice when I need it, and I find that in some strange way  I always get an answer to what I have asked,  Sometimes it is not the answer I wanted, or wished for, but it is always the answer I needed.  And then I say thank you,  whether I get what I wanted, or get what I needed, because really, if someone takes the time to answer you it is only  polite to say 'Thank you".  After all why would I treat  God with any less respect than I have for other people.  I let God know that I love Him/Her even if the world seems to be crashing around me, and I feel lost, alone and afraid. 

I think of God as a friend, and a compatriot, not some distant untouchable entity filled with vengeance and wroth, blissfully smiting everyone, and anyone who does not agree with Him/Her like some spoiled child on a rampage.  To me this warped, and twisted perversion of the being I love seems insulting.....In my world view, God is love, perfect, pure, and unending for all the creatures of the earth.  Does this make me a heretic?  I suppose it does, and do I blaspheme by believing this?  I guess only time will tell.  In the meantime I embrace my sinner status, and continue to acknowledge my own imperfections, and I continue to try to do good unto others when I can, protect the creatures of the earth great, and small. Although I know in my heart I will never achieve perfection, it does not mean that I will ever cease to strive to do good.

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ailindria
ailindria

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