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Oh blessed Spring,
Oh sweetest delight
Good faeries please come out
And dance with us tonight
~J. Kimball~

The Infinite Spark

Into the night
Into the dark
I fly like a moth
to the Infinite Spark
Wisdom from joy
or Wisdom from pain
in the end all that matters
Is that wisdom I gain
For In this brief life
I've chosen to grow
Sometimes I learn fast
Other times I move slow
We all have our choices
In the path of our fate
We can embrace sweet love
Rise above thoughts of hate
Learn that our true worth
Is determined only by us
For no other's views
Shoud ever cause us to fuss
We can make the world better
Bring our peace to the land
By choosing to do good
When a choice is at hand
So rise bright in the morning
Soar high in  blessed night
For this life is worth living
and joy is your birthright
~J. Kimball~
Janai tucked her windblown red gold hair behind her ears.  Keenan noticed she still looked youthful, her face softly round and smooth.  "I am sorry Keenan, far too much has happened between us to start anew."  her expresion was serious, yet thoughtful, she continued speaking in a calm, yet gently firm voice "There comes a time one must put aside the lies that we are told and instead acknowledge the truth that we are shown. That truth however painful is one we must embrace."  She said.  "The truth is that you never cared for me.  Honestly, you were you never by my definition, a friend, nor did you ever respetc, seek, or value my opinions, but instead only used me to your own purposes, discarding me easily when you were done with me.  In spite of all that I still  I put forth my best efforts to be a friend to you because I loved you.   No Keenan you got what you wished for, and that was me out of your life....Now suddenly you have journeyed to see me, asking to renew our "old friendship", but as I already told you, truthfully, by my definition of friendship you never were my friend.....and I am far to old to suffer further emotional abuses at your hands.  I do not hate you, I have long ago forgiven you your cruel abuses, but I have no wish to take you up as a "long lost friend" for I have only room for those who truly love me in my life these days....and Keenan you have never been one who loved me." 

Romantic love is not for everyone

I have discovered in this life that romantic love does not seem to be my forte at all, lol.  Human sexuality is a beautiful thing truly,  but for me it muddles up the works, and my mind, leaves me vulnerable to those who openly choose to use and abuse my heart, and soul.  I can not blame them if I allow myself to be open to them...it is my choice to do so because that is what you do when you love someone in the romantic sense.  You take risks, you roll the dice, and hope the game goes in your favor.  I have loved unconditionally, and it was an amazing experience, a lesson even though it was not returned.  I do not begrudge the fact that the person did not return the love I bore them....I was however, hurt only by the fact that they chose to exploit my love, and me, for their own purposes without any remorse for the pain they caused me., but that is their Karma to bear, not mine.  I can not imagine they will find the rewards for what they chose to do to me, and the hurt they visited upon our daughter to be sweet in the end, but I would think that they will find it more bitter than gall, but that is only my thinking on this. Revenge for hurts visited upon you against those who hurt you is not an act of love, but an act of selfishness, so I do not seek it, but release this person, and their actions to the Universe, and allow the Universe to balance the books if they do  indeed, need any such balancing. That all being said I think in my next life I shall focus only on my spirituallity, to try to expand my soul and become the very best I can become sans the distraction of "romantic love", which has it's place for many, but I think not for me at all.  So I drink a toast to all those who have found real romantic love in this life, and I wish them all the very best....and I drink a toast to those cho have been broken hearted, disappointed, and lost at the game of romantic love.  I pray for bliss for all, and peace, and a love which calms the spirit and makes you know that you are loved in return by the eternal flow where the creator dwells for we are a part of creation, a part of that divine love which is limitless, and pure....Pax my friends, blessings and love to you one and all.

Next Life

I think in my next life
What  I shall strive to  be
is a soul truly complete
with no physical body

a heart but only filled
with pure, and endless love
unhindered and so free
this mortality I shall rise above

In my next life you'll see
I shall not simply contented  live
a dullard's life of mediocrity
where I do but strive to give

but I shall shine like stars
and blaze like morning sun
in my next life I'll stand firm
and bowing to no one

I'll heal our mother earth
and all her children too
in my next life I know
that is all I want to do

By Janice Kimball

Before the fall

We once stood proud, and tall
But that was "us" before the fall
We shared benevolence with one and all
A beacon to both large and small

But then with mighty crash it came
The words and deeds that brought us shame
And travesties more than I can name
Have brought to us the darkest fame

Yet does my heart still hold fast
To dreams that still remain strong, and vast
Of glory returned from our past
And honor that future days may cast

Let light once more fill this darkened hall
Let hearts stand strong and answer the call
to rise above and give ones all
and remove for good this shadowed pall

Janice Kimball
Boudicca's blood runs through my veins
I swing my sword, cry loud her name
A thousand lifetimes could not tame
The fire in my soul.....

Excerpt from "Descendant"
by Janice Kimball

Blessings for to bring

When tears threaten to drown us
under life's heavy toll
and sorrow fills our hearts
and seeks to take control
know that we are but stardust
just passing through this land
and know that you can rise up
if you choose to make a stand
For sorrow offers wisdom
if we  learn to understand
and the dreams we build upon
are more than castles in the sand
there's magic in each person
and in every single thing
so stir the ancient stardust
and will it blessings for to bring
for it's up to you to choose
if you will cry, or you will sing

What sustains us

It is our brightest dreams that sustain us in the dark night of the soul.
I know when someone breaks your heart it is hard to find the good in a situation that leaves you without that person in your life.  You wish, you pray, that they will see how special you are, how worthy you are of their love....but they can not see it, and they often refuse to see it (and you are right, you are pretty damn wonderful!!).  You think if you try harder, wait longer, do more, offer more, that they will come to their senses...but they don't.  So you sit in your ocean of tears feeling as though you are drowning....feeling as though you can never love anyone like you love this one individual.  I wish I could put my arms around you at those moments and hug you.....and tell you everything is going to be OK, even though right now it feels like nothing will ever be OK again.

You wonder what is wrong with you that they do not seem to even care about you, but my darlings I tell you there is nothing wrong with you....not a single thing.  You are beautiful, and wonderful, and magnificently human with faults and foibles that make you unique, interesting, and special in so many ways.  If they can not treasure you then it is their problem....I tell you that you are blessed not to have them in your life.  Now I know you think I am crazy for saying this, but I want you to ponder this deeply, ask yourself do you want someone in your life who does not love you, treasure you, and see you as their moon, their stars, and their very sun...... I promise you that you do not want someone in your life who does not feel those things about you, and for you.... You need someone who loves you to the very core of your soul, faults and all beacuase you deserve someone who loves you deeply enough to move mountains for you, anything less than that is unacceptable. 

So I tell you that even though your heart aches, thank the powers that be that you did not end up with that person, who does not love you, or care about you as you deserve..Hold your head up, and keep your heart open, because someday the one who loves you the way you should  be loved will be there with you, and you will be glad that you are not tied in a relationship with that individual you pine for right now who does not love you, or treasure you, and who truly does not deserve you..  Pax and blessings my beautiful friends.  Be well and know always you are loved, and are worthy of love!



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