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Thought for the day

Laughter is always the very best medicine, that and love, and of course chocolate. Chocolate can fix a lot of things, and what it can't fix is often fixable with judiciously, and prudently applied duct tape, lol. ~ Janice Kimball 2017
Janaria whirled on her heels so that she was facing Keenan,"Sirrah thou art a cad, a blaggard, a scurvy knave, an errant dog hearted jackanape ! Fie I say, and a pox on thee!", she said in an angry, venomous tone.

Jan. 8th, 2017

Today I feel antiquated and redundant...Wishing I could change the world, and knowing that I can't as I see people hurling inults at one another.  I feel like I have travelled back to grade school and all the children are fighting amongst themselves, no one wants to reason with each other, or to compromise...I wonder why I am here, what possible use is my presence when no one listens, and no one cares to even attempt to find the middle ground and work together.  Too much hate, not enough love, too much ego, not enough God/Goddess....My values and ideas seem not to fit in a world where kindness, compassion, honor, honesty, loyalty, love, and understanding are not the rules, but the exceptions it seems.  I am outdated, and out of fashion, and wondering at all I see around me...Right now I am tired and I long for time,and a place to rest my head, my heart, my soul where there is peace, and where I am at long last loved unconditionally....but today is not that day, and this is not that place....I continue on to do what I can in a world that does not care for me, or my ideals....

Things that lead to a happy life….

Hugs! Yes, people will hurt, use abuse, discard, overlook, take for granted, and betray you...but know this... what they do is a reflection of them and of who, and what THEY are....and the fact that you don't do those things to people shows what kind of person you are! Trust people only to be themselves and know that, in time their true nature will reveal itself. Never expect others to behave and/or react as you do because they are not you.

Love yourself, hold the person you are in high esteem treat that person well, respect them...and when others hurt you walk away with your head held high knowing it is THEIR loss, not yours. When you look around you in the world and see the things people do know that they are only acting on who they are....you don't have to be like them, you don't have to follow them….You can choose to “Be in the world, but not of it.”

Do not spew venom, or poisonous words, do not gossip, let go of hatred, and do not feed anger because it poisons the soul and corrupts the mind it fills them with bitterness and drives out love. It taints the soul to it’s very core. Anger is normal, we all experience it, but it is how we use it, and channel it that makes a difference. To that end think before you speak, know what damage your words can do not only to others, but to yourself as well. Find ways to say things that do not cause harm, and yet can affect change by doing this you expand not only your mind, but your soul.

ALWAYS be true to who and what you are, you can not control the actions or thoughts of others the most you ever can do is control yourself, and your own reactions in situations. Decide you are not a victim, and believe it….you can see a situation as someone doing something to you, or see it as them simply doing things that will ultimately hurt themselves because they have issues and allow yourself to feel sorry for them instead, rather than feeling sorry for you. Remove yourself from the situation knowing with all your being that it is not about you...it really is about them, and their issues...You have places to be, things to do, and a life to live without them in it, forgive them, wish them well, and move on because you don’t want, or need emotional albatrosses hanging from your neck.

Forgiveness does not mean you have to keep taking someone back who treats you poorly...it means you forgive what they did, it does not require you to allow a repeat performance, and sometimes it requires walking away. Make yourself and what you need emotionally in your relationships with others a priority in your own life, if someone is not meeting your emotional needs or not treating you the way you expect to be treated you have two options, you can stay and sell yourself short, and be miserable….. or you can wish them well and move on…. Your relationship, your heart, your happiness, your choice.

Remember that sometimes loving someone simply is not enough. If you are not a priority in someone’s life, understand that if you make them one in yours you will, almost certainly, be hurt so think about this and decide if it is worth it. Learn lessons from bad situations, learn to recognize behavior patterns in yourself, and others and stop the cycles that lead to misery. Allow yourself to be human, forgive yourself for making mistakes as much and as often as you forgive others, make amends for any wrong doing so you can move on with a clear conscience…. Be honest, when you make a mistake, own up, don’t be afraid to apologize or set things to right publicly if need be... Own your mistakes, and your behavior! No one else is responsible for the choices you make, the words that you say, or the things that you do...don’t go around blaming others….own that shite, and then fix it!

Loving people and caring for them is a gamble, sometimes you will be rewarded richly, other times you will not. If it works out it is the most amazing thing in the world, if it does not, well... you will be grieving for a while….but remember you can not have love if you are not willing to risk the heartbreak of loss. You may fall, yes it happens, but oh my darlings when you finally fly you will know it was all worth it!

When you are hurting emotionally, or grieving remember if you can’t get through the day, get through the hour, if you can’t get through the hour get through the minute, if you can’t get through the minute just get through the next few seconds….eventually one tiny steep at a time, you will get through it. Grief is personal there is no time limit, and no one else can tell you how to grieve, or if what you feel is right or wrong...

Your happiness is your responsibility, don’t rely on others for it . Instead learn to find and do the things that make you smile, and laugh whether others are present or not.. Happiness is a lifetime journey, not a destination to be reached at the end. Be happy in your own company, and then you can be happy in the company of others without fail.
Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the willingness to overcome it...If you live every day courageously, passionately, and vibrantly you can not help but to rest easy in your bed at night. Stand for what you believe in, but do not disrespect the beliefs of others, understand their personal truth may be different from your own. People who run from their fears die a little death each time they do, they scar their own spirit every time they run away, every time they let their fears conquer them they become an indentured servant to those fears.

There will be some people who love you, some people who don’t like you, and some who simply don’t give a shit about you in this life. There will always be haters, don’t worry about it. You will not, and can not, win everyone over, nor should you even try to. Believe in yourself, know you have value! You may not be everybody’s cup of tea but you will damn sure be someone’s Dom Perignon! Be yourself, be good to others whether they are good to you or not, don’t compromise who you are because of their bad behaviors, or cruel words….and most importantly to those who love and like you, be grateful, be appreciative, show how much you treasure them in your lives do this, and do it often, because in an instant they can be gone, taken from you, and it will be to late to show them then how much you treasure them.

Be the best person you can be, and always push to do the best you can do….Don’t worry about what others think about you...they do not know your soul, your heart, your mind, as you do, they do not necessarily understand your journey, and they are under no obligation to do so. At the end of the day when you look into the eyes of the person in the mirror strive to be at peace with them eeach day, and at peace with the Divine, only those two opinions of you matter, no one else’s does at all. Don’t compare yourself to others, they are not you and you are not them and the scales will never be equal. Live well, be good, do good….this is what matters

A time to set aside our differences.....

The right of free assembly and free speech are integral to the freedoms guaranteed by our amendments....I do not support or condone the actions of those who would deny their fellow Americans those basic rights. whether they be from the left OR the right. But here is the thing we must remember, with the sweet comes the bitter....we must allow those to speak who's voices carry messages we do not like, and things we do not agree with…

Here is an example: I really do not care for Howard Stern at all I find his words and behaviors on air obnoxious....BUT this is America and he has a right to say those words and to express himself in whatever way he chooses to do so, contrary wise I freely exercise my own right to change the station every time he comes on the radio and simply not listen to him. If other's want to listen to him that is fine, but I choose not to.

I realize it is harder to get away from it on the internet, and in the news media where things bombard us in many areas we have no control over....To a certain extent you simply have to grow a thick skin if you are going to truly uphold the freedoms of our country because, even though I personally think it is wrong to say unkind, cruel, or inflammatory things to, or about other people, the fact is if we are to truly support the first amendment we must allow people to do just that because the truth is they can say pretty much whatever they want to short of straight up cases of slander, or libel which if they affect a persons livelihood, or severely impair their reputation may be prosecuted in a court of law in certain cases.. We have to learn to let the words of others not soak in to our psyche, and dampen our spirits, but like a duck, we need to just let the water roll right off our backs

That does not make what they say morally right, or a good choice, or even true sometimes, but the fact is they can say it....and in return we can also speak our minds in kind if we choose to. Huzzah the First Amendment! Here is one of the important things about this you can either turn this whole thing into a grand mud slinging contest which only serves to makes both sides look bad ultimately OR we can choose to take the harder path and let our actions and deeds match our words in order to lead others by example.

We do this by not allowing ourselves to be sullied in a mudslinging war which only serves to infuriate those around us and does not unite people, but divides us further….instead we choose to stand firm in our beliefs letting those slings and arrows hit us, and marching forward in spite of it. We do this to create an America, and a world, where people work together for a common good, and that does not mean I am going to agree with everything someone else says, but I am willing to work out a compromise that will work for the majority (and I limit this to the majority because, as we all know some folks on both the left and the right who are never happy no matter how reasonable you are and no matter how great the idea is, lol. They want it their way and they will throw a tantrum that rivals a two year old if they don’t get it….let them, it only shows them to be immature, and childish, and reflects badly on them. They want drama, let them attend their own play in an empty theater...you don’t have to attend)

The bottom line is is this... if you want people to work with you, you have to be willing to work with them….and this can never be achieved by responding to the bad behavior of others with your own bad behaviors (i.e. name calling, labeling, etc.)…..Someone, somewhere has to be willing to stop the cycle, and if enough people are willing to step up to the plate to do that….then, and only then will change for the better begin.

I have chosen to be one of those someone, somewhere people. It is not an easy stance, it means I am willing to be a target for extremists on both sides for verbal abuse, and I have been...but I love this country, it’s freedoms, and all it stands for enough, and believe in it enough to take those hits and still keep to my own principals, the ones I believe will ultimately bring about positive change. I believe this is the most sensible and sane approach to achieve that end result.

Now others may not agree with me, but I would ask you how many fights, or arguments you have ever seen resolved between two people who are screaming at each other back and forth without either ever willing to back down at all? I would say most likely zero, if you are being honest….So you could keep trying to hammer at each other with unkind words...or you can let them scream themselves out alone while you move on to make the better world you dream of without them. In my thinking that is pretty much the bottom line on all this..

Dec. 25th, 2016

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night....!


We all need it, a good catharsis, a cleansing of our souls, a washing away of the sorrows that weigh us down and helping us to move past them.  I am not sure how other people handle their's, but for me it is watching a sad movie, one that makes me cry, one that makes me feel deeply opening the wells of pain I have burried as I try to maintain my equilibrium.  The strong face I show other's melts away in those moments and I allow myself to be vulnerable, to show my sorrow, my wounds openly that I normally hide and shield from others. I do this when I am alone because the solitude is my friend, and my ally.

There is a price to choosing to be the strong one that people turn to...that price is not having other's there for you because they are certain you are so completely together that you don't need them....and knowing that you choose to let them believe that, even though it is not true.  There are moments I would love it if someone could see through the barrier, and know that I am not the invincible, amazingly strong person so many think I am....moments I would love someone to say "It's OK, I've got your back"  so I could bring down those walls and be open about my vulnerability.  Then I realize that what I do is expected of me, not only by other's, but it is my expectation on myself....and this is why catharsis for me is so important...because for a little while I can drop my sheilds and let go of all I hold inside that I can not bring myself to show to others....

Thought for the day

When all else fails, believe in yourself...you are far stronger than you imagine, far greater than you can dream.

Dec. 15th, 2016

Love is strange, it can make the world amazing and magical, or turn the sanest person into a raving lunatic....That being said I think a life without romantic love may not be such a bad thing, but a sensible, and safe alternative for some people.  A conscious choice for sanity can not possibly be faulted, I applaud the self discipline of those who can make such a choice and stick to it....I envy them the peace they must enjoy in their lives.

thought for the day

True colors often come to light, when no consequences are in sight ~ Janice Kimball



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