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Another run round the sun

Well I have made it through another 365 day run around the sun. Dancing on a planet that spins through space on an eliptical orbit around that glorious globe of light. I would like to think I am wiser, and maybe I am.  I would like to think that my endless efforts to make the world a better place are having some effect...and maybe they are.  I hope without ceasing that I may help people get through the rough times in life, and maybe I do.....I do not think we ever know the full impact we make on the world....but that does not mean we should not try.  Be the best person you can be, do the best you can do, and remember the only person you are ever truly in competition with is yourself..  When times are hard learn as many lessons as you can from the situations.   Forgive other's for being human, for being themselves.....because we are none of us perfect, and we are all only human at the end of the day....When someone uses, and abuses our kindness, just remember that it reflects on them...not on you...as long as you are true to who you are, and do things from the kindness that dwells in your heart there is no shame in having been duped by someone with less than honorable intentions.  You are not weak, you are not blind, you are not a fool....you trusted them, that is all.  There is no shame in that so forgive yourself...don't beat you up, you don't deserve it, and then...forgive them, but love yourself enough to not allow them to come back in and do more damage to you, your heart, your soul, your spirit...but rather release them in light and love and continue on down your path....because they must journey on their own path without you.  The trick of trusting people is this....trust people to be just who they are, nothing more, nothing less.  In time they will show you just who that is.....Never expect from other's what you expect from yourself, they are not you, and you are not them....When my soul feels weary and heavy I count my blessings, I say thank you even for the hardest of lessons, because in this crazy adventure of life we choose to rise and be happy, or we choose to sink and be miserable....but make no mistake it is our choice.  I still am filled with wonder, I still believe in magick....and I stll believe that the world can be a beautiful place.  Pax my friends, may you be ever blessed in all things.  Live Good, do good, be good.

Hugs and sighs

Fewer and fewer folks checking my blog.  I am hoping that is a good sign...maybe less heartbroken folks out there, less people struggling, I hope so, it would be nice to think the world was becoming a little bit better, a little bit kinder.  Perhaps eventually I shall gently fade into life's evermoving stream moving to my destiny without feeling as though there may be those who still need me....transition and change is inevitable....Pax to whoever reads this, bright blessings and love....and remember to be able to successfully  get down the river, you must first let go of the shore...Never fear change...embrace it, never fear solitude for in being alone we become all one.  I wish all well, I wish all love.

One foot in front of another

Some days are easy, and some days you have to focus....To put one foot in front of another.  To look for the blessings even in the loss.  We have to believe that we are moving toward a better place spiritually, and to know that the lessons we are learning along the way are making us better, stronger people.  Some days we have to remind ourselves that things are working the way they should, even if we can't see it at that moment.  Stay strong, hang in there. and believe in your own process and keep to your path.....Pax my friends, be well, be happy, and know that you are loved even in the darkest of moments, and the most desperate of times.....

I asked for a rose

Sometimes people come into your life who are abusive, and toxic....You try, and try to make things better.  You give all that you can, and then some... yet still they treat you in ways that you would never treat anyone....and that my friends is your clue, that is your clarion call that this individual is toxic.....Know that nothing can help your relationship with them.  No act that you can perform large, or small will ever make them treat you as they should, as a valued, cherished soul that brings friendship and love into their lives.  It is time to walk away from these people.  You have given your all, you have done all you can do...and let me assure you that you will never change the outcome with this person....Leave them alone, you do not need them....you are worth so much more, so much better than they could ever give to you.  Do not allow abuse of your soul for the sake of love, you may love someone with all your heart, but stand firm against abuses to your own.....Pax my friends, I share with you this poem, and my love and hopes for you that love is always returned to you a thousand fold, but if it is not remember you are a treasure, and if someone does not value and hold you in esteem as they should that you must move on without remorse, or regrets because you are loved even if not by them....Hugs and much love to you all.

I asked for a rose
by Janice Keller-Kimball

I asked for a rose

you gave me a thorn

I asked for your friendship

but you gave me none

I reached out my hand

but you were to cool

for you seemed to delight

in just treating me cruel

I asked for your smile

but twas’ your smile I lacked

I asked for your shoulder

but you just turned your back

I was there for your use

at your pleasure you see

but you never thought once

about caring for me

and now that your needs

are upon you again

you look for that “she”

who was always a friend

a good soul unwavering

whose love ne’er did end

but now do you see

that her smile has gone cold

and she greets you not warmly

as in days of old

yet you stand amazed

at these changes you view

when you ne’er stood by me

when life’s troubles did brew

you’re befuddled, confused

as I stand off, and away

for finally I’ve tired

of this cat and mouse play

So why am I done now

You surprised do now ask

the answer is simple

put yourself to the task!

Note to self

Sometimes trying to help people to mend their relationships is it's own punishment.  I am being told off by both sides, one side because they are pissed that I should even make any form of suggestion about keeping the other person in question in the loop...I suggested that if they were out of the hospital that they might want to keep individual b in the loop....for this I got accused of lecturing them and basically told to mind my own damn business.  And individual b is upset with me because I am trying to get them to look at the situation from the possibliity of perspectives of individual A on what happened....so I get accused of not believing individual B.  there are 2 sides to every story, and it has been my experience that in any situation with breakdown of communications, or miscommunications the 2 individuals involved are veiwing everything soley from their own perspective, without even attempting to veiw it from the other persons eyes.....I should have known better than trying to fix this though....I should have stayed out of it, but sometimes when you care about people you have to at least try to help them ....even if they don't want it.  At least I know I did my best, and that will have to be my consolation as I make a hard choice now between these two individuals, and leave one individual in the dust of the past....and that is OK because they never really wanted me, or my friendship in any case.  Let's hear it for Kali's Daughter as I ride into the sunset burning down the old dreams, and hopes in order to embrace new and better things, and people entering my life.  Pax my friends, let love light your way guide your heart, and your hands, and may compassion and understanding ever rule your souls...  

love, real love gives freedom

I am still working through all the lessons I need to learn in this life.  There are so many things I am still learning in this life.  One of the things I have had to learn, and that still is somewhat painful is learning how to love unconditionally.  I am grateful for the lesson, and the opportunity to learn it.  Reallizing, no, acknowledging that the person I have loved so deeply not only does not love me.....they do not care about me at all, and that they only ever used me is a harsh, and very bitter reality.  I am glad they have found happiness, truthfully it is what I always wanted for them, and I deeply wish we could have at least have been friends, but you can not be friends with someone who does not want your friendship, and who will not give you theirs, or who does not respect you, or even care for you in any manner whatsoever....this is what still makes me sad....Perhaps it should not.  Perhaps I should merely be happy that they have found happiness and think no more upon it...and maybe someday I shall reach that point, and yet tears still find me even though I have many friends, and many people who love me.  Yes, I count my blessings in having so many beautiful, loving friends....and I am grateful every day for all the amazing people and good, and truly wonderful things that are in my life....and yet this one thing still haunts me, still makes me ache inside and I can not seem to pluck it out completely.....I truly wish I could, but for now I work at getting all my lessons right so that in the end I can move on....and move past the pain and into infinite love and joy.  Bright Blessings to you all, and pax my friends....may love and joy ever fill your hearts, and your lives.

A Witch's Will

Raise the chalice to the sky
raise it well, and raise it high
now do see the magic fly
our spells fruition is now nigh
and all shall be well by and by
so mote it be say you and I
A witch's will none may deny!

Morrigan's Daughter, Morrigan's Son

I stand here on ancient ground
Calling forth the blooded hounds

I rise my mother for to meet
For she has never known defeat

Oh Morrigan, your banner I do raise
and seek not any worldly praise

Yet ride with honor to the place
hold my head high, without disgrace

No fear may stop a warrior true
For we full know what we must do

And if we die to save the land
The Morrigan shall see our stand

Then bring us safe to sacred hall
Where brave ones go when they do fall

So weep not long for those brave dead
But celebrate their lives instead

And honor those who gave their all
To help our country when she did call
Some days my mind takes off without me....pondering crazy, lazy, and often hazy loopy thoughts which dance through my consciousness unbidden.  I have long since ceased believing this is normal thinking,  I ponder everything....I know many people address the divine "Why", but my mind has brought the question to new heights of the odd and unusual, with equally strange theories as to the answers.  They are only my theories, and as with everything, I do keep my mind ever open to new possibilities, new evidence, new theories, and new potential answers.  I am not one to claim my thoughts and ways are right for everyone, but what I do know is they work for me....and that is as it should be.

I know that I am in many ways an anacranism, I am that hexagonal peg that just won't fit in either the square , or the round holes.  The truth of it is I have no desire to "fit in", I want to stand apart, to not be apart of the crowd, or the herd.  I am not now, nor have I ever been, afraid to be different.  I want to shake people up... to bring them out of their comfort zones, to make them think.  I want them to look at the world through fresh eyes, to reevaluate their ideas, hopes, dreams, and world veiws....This choice has often made my life a lonely one, but I have long since accepted the price for being the odd duck in the group, and I would not have chosen differently.  I am content with my role in life.....even if the price may be a high one.

I see things in this world that break my heart, and shhake my faith in humanity itself.  On those days I sometimes wonder if the divine creators were to call me to give a report on the state of humanity exactly what it is I would say.....Sometimes I have even thought this planet would be better off without humans....We can be a cruel and calous lot, lacking in compassion and understanding,  kindness... and being small minded, mean spirited, narcissitic, egotistical louts.  I think if I were being honest in those moments I would tell the divine creator that we are a gawdaweful mess,...

When I say this I include myself in this harsh analysis for I am not innocent in all  these charges....I have had my moments that I have fallen far short of my own standards. I have done my best to make amends for those moments, and hopefully the further along my path I journey the fewer the occurances will be that I do need to make amends for.  Then I remember that we are all imperfect beings, and I believe we are here to get it right.....and I see the amazingly beautiful, kind,  heroic, and generous acts of some and I think....there is still hope, there is still light in the world.  It can hold against the darkness, it can save us from ourselves....We are worth saving, we are worth believing in, we are remarkable creatures with amazing potential....My heart soars with hope, and dares to dream of a better world in these moments.  

As I ponder all these things I realize I am not only a anacranism, I am an abstraction, an anomoly in not only heart and soul, but in mind as well.....I am a Picasso, or a Van Gogh in a Rembrandt world......Ah well, I always did like abstracts......Pax and love to all.....may your hearts know peace, and joy always my friends.

spell to release a false friend

In a room light a candle black as ebon night and a candle pure and white, and incense of cedar, sage, and roses  do light upon the Lady's dark moon night.  Then cast this spell to release thee from all who hold you not in love kindly, but in baser ties then  be set free.  May this spell thus empower thee, within my light and love now be. Invoke my name I'll  join your spell,  now three times three, do mark me well, and harming none with  loving spell, may our will bless all then three times three, and therefore we say so mote it be. .



Now its time for us to part
you know I loved you from the start
but ne're did I truly have your heart
so now tis time a new course to chart
unbridled now this horse from cart

I release you now in light and love
and in full view of heaven above
my spirit flies free as a winged dove
no slave am I to  masters glove
no more your will upon me shove

be gone from me with your ill will
no more on me your venom spill
I'll no more with my tears your fields till
no more of your words cruel and shrill
as friend you ne'er did fit the bill

we are done tis true and that's the case
no more of love is there a trace
I face the world with shining face
as a heart of love holds no disgrace
my freedom gladly do I embrace

Let us part our ways now in peace
from your orbit do I I seek release
let your ill will now desist. decease
causing no more my brow to crease
upon life and love I have new lease

no longer even a part of me
from my love you are set free
no bonds remain twixt me and thee
I will this now three times three
In light and love so mote it be

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