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love, real love gives freedom

I am still working through all the lessons I need to learn in this life.  There are so many things I am still learning in this life.  One of the things I have had to learn, and that still is somewhat painful is learning how to love unconditionally.  I am grateful for the lesson, and the opportunity to learn it.  Reallizing, no, acknowledging that the person I have loved so deeply not only does not love me.....they do not care about me at all, and that they only ever used me is a harsh, and very bitter reality.  I am glad they have found happiness, truthfully it is what I always wanted for them, and I deeply wish we could have at least have been friends, but you can not be friends with someone who does not want your friendship, and who will not give you theirs, or who does not respect you, or even care for you in any manner whatsoever....this is what still makes me sad....Perhaps it should not.  Perhaps I should merely be happy that they have found happiness and think no more upon it...and maybe someday I shall reach that point, and yet tears still find me even though I have many friends, and many people who love me.  Yes, I count my blessings in having so many beautiful, loving friends....and I am grateful every day for all the amazing people and good, and truly wonderful things that are in my life....and yet this one thing still haunts me, still makes me ache inside and I can not seem to pluck it out completely.....I truly wish I could, but for now I work at getting all my lessons right so that in the end I can move on....and move past the pain and into infinite love and joy.  Bright Blessings to you all, and pax my friends....may love and joy ever fill your hearts, and your lives.

A Witch's Will

Raise the chalice to the sky
raise it well, and raise it high
now do see the magic fly
our spells fruition is now nigh
and all shall be well by and by
so mote it be say you and I
A witch's will none may deny!

Morrigan's Daughter, Morrigan's Son

I stand here on ancient ground
Calling forth the blooded hounds

I rise my mother for to meet
For she has never known defeat

Oh Morrigan, your banner I do raise
and seek not any worldly praise

Yet ride with honor to the place
hold my head high, without disgrace

No fear may stop a warrior true
For we full know what we must do

And if we die to save the land
The Morrigan shall see our stand

Then bring us safe to sacred hall
Where brave ones go when they do fall

So weep not long for those brave dead
But celebrate their lives instead

And honor those who gave their all
To help our country when she did call
Some days my mind takes off without me....pondering crazy, lazy, and often hazy loopy thoughts which dance through my consciousness unbidden.  I have long since ceased believing this is normal thinking,  I ponder everything....I know many people address the divine "Why", but my mind has brought the question to new heights of the odd and unusual, with equally strange theories as to the answers.  They are only my theories, and as with everything, I do keep my mind ever open to new possibilities, new evidence, new theories, and new potential answers.  I am not one to claim my thoughts and ways are right for everyone, but what I do know is they work for me....and that is as it should be.

I know that I am in many ways an anacranism, I am that hexagonal peg that just won't fit in either the square , or the round holes.  The truth of it is I have no desire to "fit in", I want to stand apart, to not be apart of the crowd, or the herd.  I am not now, nor have I ever been, afraid to be different.  I want to shake people up... to bring them out of their comfort zones, to make them think.  I want them to look at the world through fresh eyes, to reevaluate their ideas, hopes, dreams, and world veiws....This choice has often made my life a lonely one, but I have long since accepted the price for being the odd duck in the group, and I would not have chosen differently.  I am content with my role in life.....even if the price may be a high one.

I see things in this world that break my heart, and shhake my faith in humanity itself.  On those days I sometimes wonder if the divine creators were to call me to give a report on the state of humanity exactly what it is I would say.....Sometimes I have even thought this planet would be better off without humans....We can be a cruel and calous lot, lacking in compassion and understanding,  kindness... and being small minded, mean spirited, narcissitic, egotistical louts.  I think if I were being honest in those moments I would tell the divine creator that we are a gawdaweful mess,...

When I say this I include myself in this harsh analysis for I am not innocent in all  these charges....I have had my moments that I have fallen far short of my own standards. I have done my best to make amends for those moments, and hopefully the further along my path I journey the fewer the occurances will be that I do need to make amends for.  Then I remember that we are all imperfect beings, and I believe we are here to get it right.....and I see the amazingly beautiful, kind,  heroic, and generous acts of some and I think....there is still hope, there is still light in the world.  It can hold against the darkness, it can save us from ourselves....We are worth saving, we are worth believing in, we are remarkable creatures with amazing potential....My heart soars with hope, and dares to dream of a better world in these moments.  

As I ponder all these things I realize I am not only a anacranism, I am an abstraction, an anomoly in not only heart and soul, but in mind as well.....I am a Picasso, or a Van Gogh in a Rembrandt world......Ah well, I always did like abstracts......Pax and love to all.....may your hearts know peace, and joy always my friends.

spell to release a false friend

In a room light a candle black as ebon night and a candle pure and white, and incense of cedar, sage, and roses  do light upon the Lady's dark moon night.  Then cast this spell to release thee from all who hold you not in love kindly, but in baser ties then  be set free.  May this spell thus empower thee, within my light and love now be. Invoke my name I'll  join your spell,  now three times three, do mark me well, and harming none with  loving spell, may our will bless all then three times three, and therefore we say so mote it be. .

Now its time for us to part
you know I loved you from the start
but ne're did I truly have your heart
so now tis time a new course to chart
unbridled now this horse from cart

I release you now in light and love
and in full view of heaven above
my spirit flies free as a winged dove
no slave am I to  masters glove
no more your will upon me shove

be gone from me with your ill will
no more on me your venom spill
I'll no more with my tears your fields till
no more of your words cruel and shrill
as friend you ne'er did fit the bill

we are done tis true and that's the case
no more of love is there a trace
I face the world with shining face
as a heart of love holds no disgrace
my freedom gladly do I embrace

Let us part our ways now in peace
from your orbit do I I seek release
let your ill will now desist. decease
causing no more my brow to crease
upon life and love I have new lease

no longer even a part of me
from my love you are set free
no bonds remain twixt me and thee
I will this now three times three
In light and love so mote it be

end of a friendship

farewell old friend I bid adieu
I see now we are finally through
not much for me to say, or do
than simply walk away from you

for years I stood there by your side
in faith and love I did abide
oft did you scold me, and did chide
But I just took it in my stride

for I knew that deep down inside
such love did dwell and could not hide
so though I sometimes found I cried
beside you, I, in love did ride

then upon us came the day
I asked for mercy to but allay
the angry words that to me you'd say
my spirit weak I but asked delay

then In anger you lashed out your fury
you were executioner, judge and jury
then did you show your love as only usury
for no sign of love graced me, your quarry

I offended thee, and so no mercy shown
for from your heart all love had flown
Your anger twisted your heart to stone
and you stormed off leaving me alone

Thus did our friendship end that day
you took it and you walked away
for imagined crimes you'ld make me pay
you never chose to let me have my say

And though tis' sad there is relief
from endings which did bring me grief
for ended was my forebelief
as you, cruelty's dagger did unsheath

 That ever had you been true friend....
and so in your ending did you send
the message that once my heart did rend
yet brought me peace here at the end

For you can not loose love never gained
and though with tears this thought is stained
a cleansing love has now on my soul rained
no more false friend, no more love feigned

By Janice Kimball

Thought for the day

Laughter is always the very best medicine, that and love, and of course chocolate. Chocolate can fix a lot of things, and what it can't fix is often fixable with judiciously, and prudently applied duct tape, lol. ~ Janice Kimball 2017
Janaria whirled on her heels so that she was facing Keenan,"Sirrah thou art a cad, a blaggard, a scurvy knave, an errant dog hearted jackanape ! Fie I say, and a pox on thee!", she said in an angry, venomous tone.

Jan. 8th, 2017

Today I feel antiquated and redundant...Wishing I could change the world, and knowing that I can't as I see people hurling inults at one another.  I feel like I have travelled back to grade school and all the children are fighting amongst themselves, no one wants to reason with each other, or to compromise...I wonder why I am here, what possible use is my presence when no one listens, and no one cares to even attempt to find the middle ground and work together.  Too much hate, not enough love, too much ego, not enough God/Goddess....My values and ideas seem not to fit in a world where kindness, compassion, honor, honesty, loyalty, love, and understanding are not the rules, but the exceptions it seems.  I am outdated, and out of fashion, and wondering at all I see around me...Right now I am tired and I long for time,and a place to rest my head, my heart, my soul where there is peace, and where I am at long last loved unconditionally....but today is not that day, and this is not that place....I continue on to do what I can in a world that does not care for me, or my ideals....

Things that lead to a happy life….

Hugs! Yes, people will hurt, use abuse, discard, overlook, take for granted, and betray you...but know this... what they do is a reflection of them and of who, and what THEY are....and the fact that you don't do those things to people shows what kind of person you are! Trust people only to be themselves and know that, in time their true nature will reveal itself. Never expect others to behave and/or react as you do because they are not you.

Love yourself, hold the person you are in high esteem treat that person well, respect them...and when others hurt you walk away with your head held high knowing it is THEIR loss, not yours. When you look around you in the world and see the things people do know that they are only acting on who they are....you don't have to be like them, you don't have to follow them….You can choose to “Be in the world, but not of it.”

Do not spew venom, or poisonous words, do not gossip, let go of hatred, and do not feed anger because it poisons the soul and corrupts the mind it fills them with bitterness and drives out love. It taints the soul to it’s very core. Anger is normal, we all experience it, but it is how we use it, and channel it that makes a difference. To that end think before you speak, know what damage your words can do not only to others, but to yourself as well. Find ways to say things that do not cause harm, and yet can affect change by doing this you expand not only your mind, but your soul.

ALWAYS be true to who and what you are, you can not control the actions or thoughts of others the most you ever can do is control yourself, and your own reactions in situations. Decide you are not a victim, and believe it….you can see a situation as someone doing something to you, or see it as them simply doing things that will ultimately hurt themselves because they have issues and allow yourself to feel sorry for them instead, rather than feeling sorry for you. Remove yourself from the situation knowing with all your being that it is not about you...it really is about them, and their issues...You have places to be, things to do, and a life to live without them in it, forgive them, wish them well, and move on because you don’t want, or need emotional albatrosses hanging from your neck.

Forgiveness does not mean you have to keep taking someone back who treats you poorly...it means you forgive what they did, it does not require you to allow a repeat performance, and sometimes it requires walking away. Make yourself and what you need emotionally in your relationships with others a priority in your own life, if someone is not meeting your emotional needs or not treating you the way you expect to be treated you have two options, you can stay and sell yourself short, and be miserable….. or you can wish them well and move on…. Your relationship, your heart, your happiness, your choice.

Remember that sometimes loving someone simply is not enough. If you are not a priority in someone’s life, understand that if you make them one in yours you will, almost certainly, be hurt so think about this and decide if it is worth it. Learn lessons from bad situations, learn to recognize behavior patterns in yourself, and others and stop the cycles that lead to misery. Allow yourself to be human, forgive yourself for making mistakes as much and as often as you forgive others, make amends for any wrong doing so you can move on with a clear conscience…. Be honest, when you make a mistake, own up, don’t be afraid to apologize or set things to right publicly if need be... Own your mistakes, and your behavior! No one else is responsible for the choices you make, the words that you say, or the things that you do...don’t go around blaming others….own that shite, and then fix it!

Loving people and caring for them is a gamble, sometimes you will be rewarded richly, other times you will not. If it works out it is the most amazing thing in the world, if it does not, well... you will be grieving for a while….but remember you can not have love if you are not willing to risk the heartbreak of loss. You may fall, yes it happens, but oh my darlings when you finally fly you will know it was all worth it!

When you are hurting emotionally, or grieving remember if you can’t get through the day, get through the hour, if you can’t get through the hour get through the minute, if you can’t get through the minute just get through the next few seconds….eventually one tiny steep at a time, you will get through it. Grief is personal there is no time limit, and no one else can tell you how to grieve, or if what you feel is right or wrong...

Your happiness is your responsibility, don’t rely on others for it . Instead learn to find and do the things that make you smile, and laugh whether others are present or not.. Happiness is a lifetime journey, not a destination to be reached at the end. Be happy in your own company, and then you can be happy in the company of others without fail.
Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the willingness to overcome it...If you live every day courageously, passionately, and vibrantly you can not help but to rest easy in your bed at night. Stand for what you believe in, but do not disrespect the beliefs of others, understand their personal truth may be different from your own. People who run from their fears die a little death each time they do, they scar their own spirit every time they run away, every time they let their fears conquer them they become an indentured servant to those fears.

There will be some people who love you, some people who don’t like you, and some who simply don’t give a shit about you in this life. There will always be haters, don’t worry about it. You will not, and can not, win everyone over, nor should you even try to. Believe in yourself, know you have value! You may not be everybody’s cup of tea but you will damn sure be someone’s Dom Perignon! Be yourself, be good to others whether they are good to you or not, don’t compromise who you are because of their bad behaviors, or cruel words….and most importantly to those who love and like you, be grateful, be appreciative, show how much you treasure them in your lives do this, and do it often, because in an instant they can be gone, taken from you, and it will be to late to show them then how much you treasure them.

Be the best person you can be, and always push to do the best you can do….Don’t worry about what others think about you...they do not know your soul, your heart, your mind, as you do, they do not necessarily understand your journey, and they are under no obligation to do so. At the end of the day when you look into the eyes of the person in the mirror strive to be at peace with them eeach day, and at peace with the Divine, only those two opinions of you matter, no one else’s does at all. Don’t compare yourself to others, they are not you and you are not them and the scales will never be equal. Live well, be good, do good….this is what matters



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